To describe today I have to use words like "exhausting," "heart wrenching," and "peaceful."

My father was taken back to the hospital this morning about seven with chest pains. He is a very sick man. Very sick. He is getting weaker. Yesterday, while at the rehab center, he became winded and very tired. During the evening he was restless. He said he didn't eat the night before, he felt sick. Around seven this morning he had some chest pains and that sent back to the hospital.

His cardiologist came around this afternoon and we had a good talk with him. My father was lucid today, for the most part, and that was a good thing. After talking with the doctor and coming to the conclusion that there isn't much more that can be done we decided to turn off my fathers defibulator that he has in his chest. It is a combination defibulator/pacemaker. He has a standing DNR (do not resucitate) order and he decided, on his own, that the defibulator in his chest kind of trumps the DNR. So, he decided to have it turned off. That doesn't mean he will die tomorrow. It just means that if his heart goes into a weird rythm that defib will not shock the heart into a proper rythm. In short, nature will take its course.

He will continue to be treated via medication. But nothing drastic will or can be done. He isn't a candidate for any kind of radical surgery up to and including transplant. He has a variety of other health problems that make such procedures dangerous.

He is comfortable with his decision and resting comfortably in the hospital. God's will be done.