Friday, July 27, 2007

A Movie Night

Last night I sort of took the night off. I had my homework done for the week and I didn't have much else to do, so I decided a movie would be good to watch. A few weeks back I bought Carnival of Souls, a weird, early 1960's horror movie that was filmed in Lawrence, Kansas and a place called Saltair that is right outside of Salt Lake City, Utah. I had bought but not gotten around to watching it, yet (that happens a lot, sadly). So I watched it and it really is kind of creepy, but it awfully campy, too. The creepy organ music really got to me, but I think that is because it was more shrill than anything else, the organ music is important because the main character of the film Mary Henry is an organist. If you get a chance and you have a couple hours, check it out. Its good (albeit, weird and campy) movie.

After I finished Carnival, I started to watch one of my favorite movies Kicking and Screaming but I started to fall asleep. For some odd reason, I just love that movie. If for no other reason than it has some great oneliners.

I watched those two movies last night because I wasn't in the mood to read a movie, i.e. a foreign film. Thought, I did almost watch 8 1/2, but I decided I wasn't in the mood for Fellini.

An aside: does anyone know of a good (fairly inexpensive) hotel in Ft. Wayne? I'll be in the Ft. in August for a conference and I'll need a place to stay. Just wondering. (Like anyone'll respond to that! lol)

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

How You'se Guys Find Me, Again

relatives visiting us this weekend
how to empty out a fuel tank
sugar in your gas tank
throttle pedalpumping
full throttle porn movie
pedal pumping
jeremiah 29:11-14
i want to put sugar in his gas tank
full throttle at sam's club
keeping fuel tank always full
what happens if
full throttle poem
sandals steping on gas pedal
pedal pumping
water in gas tank

Lemming, In Search of a Cliff*

so, i worked the other night, for the harry potter release. let me say this right off the bat: i'm somewhat agoraphobic, that is, i'm a bit uncomfortable in and around big crowds. i don't "freak out" so much as just start to fidget, pace, and well, okay, have small freak outs. i did all those except maybe the freek out. it wasn't that bad, actually. crowded, yes, but the crowd was orderly and everyone seemed to have a good time. though, i would of given anything to of stuck a sock in my store manager's mouth. he kept barking instructions over the p.a., no one was really listening and yet we had no choice but too listen because the p.a. sound had been turned up. he barked instructions about all kinds of different things. its not even important what he was barking about.

we had a variety of things going on that night. costume contest, tarot reading, face painting and, the coolest thing: owls. real live, little bitty owls. one of them was about the size of my fist. i wanted to take the little guy home, i figured that princess emma would like a feathery, taloned friend. then again, maybe not.

we had folks start lining up to get their book early. they just had to be the very first person in line to get the book. i was excited about the book, too. if for no other reason than it was the final one and i could put this particular boywonder wizard to bed. i was in charge of the countdown, that is, i got on the p.a. after my manager started to get horse (thank god) and i started counting down until the magical hour of 12:01 am. then the frenzy began.

here is the best way to describe it: controlled chaos. a cliche, i know, but that's what it was. honestly. i started to play with customers. that was fun. every now and again when one came up longingly, i'd ask "what would you like?" they'd say "harry potter" and me being who i am would say simply "oops, we just ran out." the looks of sheer shock were priceless, but of course we had plenty so they got their little, as mike rowe from dirty jobs would say "slice of heaven." the strangest thing was the eyes of the customers. they locked onto the book i had in my hand and watched it, much like a dog watches a ball or bone. i tested this theory, i would move the book back and forth up and down and their eyes would follow... for a split second the lights were on, but nobody was home, if you get my meaning.

i got my book that night, too.

i finished reading it monday night before i went to bed. now, in the interest of anti-spoilers i shall endevour to not give anything away.

did i like the book? it was okay, but it wasn't my favorite. prisoner of azkabahan is till the reigning champ-een on that score. it was the best, but it certainly wasn't the worst (that distincition in my opinion goes to chamber of secrets). it answered some questions, but left quite a few unanswered. it cleared up the whole snape thing, but neglected to answer some of the questions i had about harry and his family. the epilogue, why did she have to write that? she should of left it alone. i also felt that at time, the book was forced. particularly some of the perdicaments that harry got into, it felt to me that rowling had to think fast a couple times to get harry out of something she wrote him into.

in a few weeks, i'll re-re-re-read the series from beginning to end. to get the whole. maybe i'll change my mind then.

*originally posted at opendiary

Monday, July 16, 2007

Harry Potter... My Cents Worth

"I opened the box and I started disappearing. It was a magic box. Then I went through all of my nightmares and I became friends with my nightmares. And we acted like clowns and danced around..."

"One morning, I woke up with a nasty face and slober coming out of my mouth..."

So, this is the summer of Harry Potter. We get a double dose of the boy wizard and the various characters that come along with him. I have an admission, I am just as excited about book seven of the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which comes out on July 21, 2007 at midnight, as any kid. One reason for this is I'm just ready for the series to end. It seems like its been going on forever, which, in a sense, it has, I guess. But that's beside the point. Its just a good time read and if nothing else, reading the series is a great way to clean the mental palate. If you want to, you can read deep thoughts into the series, or just kind of skim along and let the adventure that is the Harry Potter series take you away. Its fun to be wisked away to a magical word for a few a while, its better than listening to the news.

Thirdworst's post regarding her infatuation with Harry Potter is much more interesting than mine, but I thought I'd join her in the discussion. I first got involved with the phenomenon known as Harry Potter in Spring of 2000, or so. I was in between jobs at the time, but I had found temporary employment with a company that administers and scores state aptitude tests. I was scoring essays written by fourth and fifth graders in Tenessee or Kentucky, I can't remember exactly which. The students had to write to a prompt. In this case, the prompt said something to the effect of "You get a box in the mail. You open it up and a character from a book pops out. Tell us what happens."

I got to the series late. The first three books had already been published. I'd never heard of Harry Potter and I had no idea who "Hagrid," or "Ron Weasley," or "Hermoine Granger," or "Dumbledore," or "Voldemort" were, but a good 80 percent of the essays I read dealt with these characters. I became curious about them, but I don't think any of the people I worked with knew who these characters were, either. Its safe to say, I think, that the series hadn't really taken off yet. It was still a kids' book and hadn't been picked up by adults en mass as yet.

After about two weeks of these essays, I was in Sam's Club one day with my mom and I saw the first three books on sale. They were ten bucks each, so I bought them and read them and, like most people who have read the series, was taken away. I loved them (particularly The Prisoner of Ascaban, which is still my favorite of the series). I was amazed at the story. I was hooked. In case you were wondering, those two quotes above came from two different student papers I read. I just thought those were great sentences so I had to write them down!

Eventually, the temporary part of the "temporary employment" came to a head and I needed to find another job. I applied at Barnes and Noble and got hired. I was hired a few days before Goblet of Fire came out, I remember I ordered it from Amazon and was bummed that I didn't get it until three or four days after the release. I think that was the last time I ever bought anything from Amazon.

I didn't actually start at BN until after the Harry Potter release, which was a good thing, I suppose. I have worked the last two releases and they have been nuts. Fun, but nuts. The next one, on July 21st will probably prove to be the nuttiest one of all.

In preporation for the seventh and final book, I have reread the entire series. I have even skimmed through a couple of the books that have come that guessing what the end is. I think the last book is something 744 pages long. J.K. Rowling has quite a few loose ends to tie up. And of course we all want to know who the two that die are. I have a few guesses, but for each guess I have there are two or three reasons why that character can't/won't/or shouldn't die.

The movies have been good. I have enjoyed them. They aren't the book and they really do cut down the books, particularly the Order of the Phoenix, but at the same time they do get the basics of the story. I was disappointed that I didn't get to see St. Mungo's Hospital of Magical Maladies, but I thought it was quite clever how the screenwriters were able to put a whole chapter in the book into about two lines in the movie. I thought that was effective. The final fight scene seemed awfully abreviated and Sirius' death almost anti-climactic, in the book it is much more powerful.

I have another admission: I have a crush on Ginny Weasley. Yes, I do. She's tough and takes no junk from nobody, particularly in the books. She should start coming to the forefront in the movies starting with the next one.

So, there we are. Harry Potter mania continues to roll on, gathering steam. Its going to be an interesting couple of days. Enjoy it. Just do me a favor, post no spoilers. Thanks.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Lookin for an Eddy

I took a step towards professional librarianship last night. I joined American Library Association. I don't know why it took me so long to do it. I probably should of done it a year ago, but I kept putting it off. I got the cheap-o student rate, I can still claim to be a student even though I only a have a few weeks left before I'm officially chucked out into the great librarian seas.

I have started the basic search for a job. I'm not sure exactly where I will end up, I think I wrote about that in my last entry. I know that I am interested in two areas of librarianship: reference and academic. In order of desire I'd say that academic libraries would be on the top of my list and public libraries a very close second. School librarianship isn't really even on the radar.

I think that my bookstore experience will play well in a public library setting. Lord knows I can do a booktalk at the drop of a hat and because of my seven years in the bookstore trenches I have a very wide reading base. I read just about anything and everything, yes I've even read some romance.

Ricklibrarian wrote in my comment section about being Library 2.0. That basically means being computer literate and able to work with new technologies that keep sprouting up. I feel very comfortable with new library technologies. I have done podcasts and vidcasts, I have a blog, an online diary, a myspace page, a facebook page, a flickr account, a librarything account, and I've dabbled in Secondlife a time or two, but I got creeped out by the whole alternative reality thing and never went back. So, without really trying, I have gotten into the whole Lib. 2.0 thing.

So, into the rushing waters of librarianship I go.

Friday, July 13, 2007


i am bleary eyed right now. i just got done with a marathon of a cataloging class. what we went over she kept saying that we really didn't need to know how to do because we can just cut and paste it from another source... then why did i spend six hours learning it. i dunno. the last two hours of the class are in a computer lab, so as we went over the stuff again and had "hands on experience" with it, i started surfing the web looking for jobs. i saw some interesting things, i may send out my resume and see what happens. who knows.

i don't what's going on at my current job. a new store is being built about four miles away from my home and i so very much want to transfer there when it opens, but i'm getting vibes that i'm not going to be allowed to. its tough to continue working for a company sometimes, that i have worked for 7 years and feel like i'm not getting respected. i still enjoy my job, love it as a matter of fact, but its the management that drives me nuts. they are secretive, play favorites, and just seem aloof to the whole bookselling thing. the store manager has only read one book: devil in the white city. that is the only book he can speak to. how can you manage a bookstore and not read? and he's proud of the fact! he originally managed food stores. he comes from a fancy foodstore in the southeast, its a high-falootin brand that has two names, i can never remember the name of it, though.

i really do want to be a librarian. i've decided that. for a while i wasn't sure if i really wanted to be a librarian, but after going through the classes and working my tail off for the last two years i have decided that the world of the library is for me. i want to be an academic librarian or a reference librarian, if i go the academic route i'll ahve to have more schooling. that's fine, i don't mind. i like learning, i enjoy structured classes, etc. if i go back to school, again, after im finished with this masters i'll have to look for scholarships and grants. i can't handle any more loans. i'm already broke. i'm scared to see what happens in 6 months when i have to start paying back my student loans. that's going to be the straw that breaks the back of the camel, i'm afraid.

taped to my name tag at work is the phrase "executive optimis" and i believe in that phrase. my general outlook on life is this: its only going to get better. every test i face is nothing more than a character builder. i honestly believe the 23rd psalm when it talks about "guiding through the valley" the key word there is "through." every test has a conclusion, every problem a solution, every valley a mountain, every dark spot has light. i believe the firmly. i work hard to keep that ideal in the forefront of my daily life. granted, sometimes i worry too much and forget the saying "nothing to worry about lots to think about," but i do my best.

i have said it before and i'll say it again: i'm amazed that i have gotten through this program as quickly and as well as i have. i have three weeks left and i'm done. i'll have crossed that bridge and i'll be looking for something new. who knows where i'll be in six months, or a year. i'll probbly still be in the general area i am now, but who knows. i probably won't be able to move any where because i won't be able to afford something like that, but who knows. i pray constantly that God show me where he wants me to go and that it be His will, not mine, that leads me. does that mean i should be complacent? no. just the opposite. i should be striving forward, neck stretched out and eyes forward putting one foot in front of the other. onward, onward. i'll admit, i'm scared. i don't do change very well, i think too much, i try and see all the angles of a thing, a problem. as a result i sometimes miss the boat, but not always.

i'm working in the law library tonight. i don't know how much longer that will last. will i still be here when i graduate or, because of my graduatated status will i no longer be allowed to work here? i hope i can continue to do so, i enjoy the job, but i dunno. i think i like it because its safe, its fairly easy, and its comfortable.

strangely i feel that a change is coming, from where i haven't the foggiest. i'm not sure if it will fall at my feet, or hit me over the head, or if i'll fall into it, but something is coming down the road. (i would prefer it not hit me headon, though, but if that's the case, so be it, i'm strapped in and holding on).

so where does this diatribe and introspection leave me? again, i haven't the foggiest. i feel better, i think, i've had some of this bottled up for a while. it feels good to get it out. i will continue to pray and keep my focus on God. i have to do that, if i don't i'll go nuts.

well, i think that's it. i guess i'll now and take a look at the pretty blue sky and white puffy clouds and think about whatever crosses my mind.

*reposted from

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Please Note

I have drifted away from my original purpose of this blog: discussion of faith and Lutheranism. I appologize. I shall endevour to do better in the future.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

April 4, 1999/July 8, 2007

I can still remember that night. I didn't know what was going to happen. My spirit was broken my Faith severely tested, I was a wreck emotionally and I felt like a failure. I sat in my room. I had fallen apart emotionally and had a serious anxiety attack in my classroom as I student taught. I couldn't do it, I just couldn't. I fell apart, and withdrew from the program. Five weeks in, five weeks left, and I just couldn't do it any more. I could barely function. I was a mess. That night, though, I sat quietly in my room reading the Bible. I remember sitting in my dad's old rocking chair. Reading quietly. Trying to make sense of everything, anything would do. I didn't have a clue where I was going or what I was going to do. At the time I was reading the Old Testement. I was reading it backwards, that is to say I started reading the smaller books at the end of the OT and then got to the bigger ones. I had tried to go from front to back a couple of times, but like most people, I got bogged down in Leviticus and Numbers. So, in a flash of brilliance I decided to read it backwards; my thinking was this: let me get some success and some momentum. It worked. That night April 4, 1999 I had gotten to Jeremiah. I was reading Jeremiah hoping to God that I would find something,anything that would make it all just click. And, low and behold, I did.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 is one of the most amazing passages I have ever read, after Acts 2:22, or maybe Ephesians 3:14-21, but it certainly is up there. It literally turned my life around in an instant. Basically, Jeramiah 29:11-14 spells it out "I have a plan for you. Don't worry about your future. I'll take care of you. Trust me." That, of course, is my paraphrase, but that's the gist of the passage. I needed those words that night. I can still remember the joy and relief I felt. I felt strenghtened by those words.

It is over eight years since I read those words for the first time and they still burn in me. Eight years ago I never would of imagined that I would be where I am today. I find myself double checking to make sure that I am in fact living my life. I can honestly say that my general optimism about life comes from this passage. Sure, things get me down and I'll sulk over the lemons, but it doesn't last long.

Right now, I am at a bit of a crossroads in my life. I am quickly coming to the end of my degree program. I'll be officially done with my masters degree in about four weeks. I'm not sure what direction I'll go in after that. I have found another masters program that would work well with my MLS, but I'm not really sure I want to do another masters that will include 1. a language, and 2. a thesis. The thesis I'm not so worried about, its the language I'm scared over. The only language I've ever actually been able to feel comfortable learning, sort of, was Hebrew. But that is neither here nor there.

I will continue to pray that God lead me where He wants me to be. I pray daily "your will be done, Lord, not mine." To some that might seem like a cop-out, but I mean it with the deepest part of my heart and Faith. I pray that God lead me where he wants me to go. I've tried to lead Him where I wanted Him to go and it didn't work out so well.

My Faith is strong.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

A Shepherd Comes Back to His Flock

Rev. Y returned from deployment in Germany. He is an Airforce chaplain and every once in a while he is deployed or activated and sent someplace. The last couple times he has been sent to Antartica for a few months, a few years back when the World was trying to negotiate with North Korea he was deployed to the area for something, but he never really told us what it was-- matter of fact, he didn't even tell the congregation where he was going until after he came back. It was a hush-hush mission.

Rev. Y returned from his latest deployment. He had been sent to Germany to the military hospital that all wounded soldiers from Afghanistan and Iraq are cycled through on their way back to the states. He got caught in the snafu of the airlines this past week. He missed flights and got delayed. He got to Chicago and had missed his flight to Indy, so some members of the congregation went and got him. He preached last night for the first time in about two months.

The smile he had on his face was brilliant. He was so happy to be home. You could tell that this assignment had been very stressful. He looked very tired and like he lost quite a bit of weight. He said at one point in the service that there was much he wanted to tell us and much the he didn't want to tell, or that we just wouldn't want to hear.

He ministered directly to the soldiers being evacuated from the various zones of operatinos they were in. He always comes back so much stronger in his faith. I think God uses these deployments as way to strenghten Rev. Y's faith and gives hime knowledge to minister to us, his flock. I could tell he was thrilled to be home.

It was good to have him home. Relax, Rev. Y, you deserve it.