Sunday, December 16, 2007

In Which Your Faithful Narrator Discusses Character Flaws

i feel like a cheater right now. i have publicly stated in the past that coffee is not a chemistry experiment, and i truly believe that. coffee should be had black. no froo-froo'ness for me. no, sir. i disdain the "coffee based drink" that is actually nothing more than a coffee flavored (if you're lucky) milk shake. no, friends, i drink my coffee black. i drink my coffee straight. i drink my coffee unemcombered by the fruit of the bovine teet or the sugar cane. but this morning, as i looked out the window and see an arctic wonderland of ice and snow, i caved, with my third cup of coffee and made it into a chemistry experiment: i added the afforementioned fruits. the result? a sweetened concoction that is not coffee, but a sweetened, brownish liquid that ceased resembling coffee the moment i twirled my spoon to mix it all up. so, in a moment of weakness i made myself a hypocrite, but i own up to it and beg for thy grace and forgiveness.

i woke up this morning a little before nine. emma was curled in a ball on my bed, by feet, her tail wrapped around her and the tip touched her forehead, though, i'm not really sure cats have forheads. perhaps it is best to say "the slope of her head just past her ears." i woke, my mouth slightly cotton-bally from the lack of water during the night and my hair askew in strange un-geometric positions, and looked out the window to see that old man winter had indeed visited my own little slice of heaven as i slumbered. i got out of bed and hit the kitchen in search of my first infusion of the last great legal drug, made my bagel and egg (i broke a yoke, damn) and commenced to watch some sports center. my monring ritual, if you will. i was able to see footage of the snow fall occuring in new england this morning. my, i think i'd rather watch that game from the warmth of a bar stool or my living room than in the stands, but, since i am admitting to character deficiencies this morn, i'll own up to one more: i'm a wimp and proudly so! the idea of being in the stands watching a football game freezing my ass off does nothing, absolutely nothing for me. the sheer thought makes my feet turn into size 10 ice cubes. no, droogies, i would most assuredly rather watch the game from the warmth of that nice round bar stool, or comfy soft (yes, i used the words "comfy soft") couch.

but worrying about the game is actually quite silly because i won't be able to watch it any way. i have to work this evening. i don't mind. this time of year is fun to work in retail. yeah, you read that right, too. i said fun. i don't mind working tonight because i have tomorrow off and i'm going out with beth. we are going christmas shopping tomorrow. not for each other, but together. at least we decided that last night as we talked on the phone. but strange things happen with our schedules. but i'm going to give it another go with her.

i'll have to get myself bundled up soon, go outside and try and shovel the ice and snow from the walk way so that it will all blow back and my labor shall be for naught. ah, pisswah.


ds said...

every once in a great while, on about that 3rd or 4th cup of fresh ground expertly brewed coffee that I make, I break, too. I have very rarely added sugar and milk. it's a terrible moment. the only thing that makes it acceptable is the single malt scotch that tops it off. you must make up for made up things. I understand.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Coffee is so much healthier without all of that stuff, but it's not tolerable for me any other way. In other words: I like my sugar and cream with a little coffee.

Try one of those Christmas specialty drinks at Starbucks, though. Yum.

Nice entry, by the way. Enjoy the style.

Anonymous said...

I only Drink my Coffee black too. Ok ok...I confess...a couple times I have had the brown liquid that does not resemble coffee anymore...but only when I want something sweet.