Thursday, April 27, 2006

be still

The last four weeks have been too busy. My life has been filled with work and school. I have been a part of opening a new bookstore and have been putting in almost 40 hours a week there and then I have also been continuing my grad work and I've been fitting in that work where I can. Between those two things, sleeping, and eating I have had very little time for anything else. Sundays have been my only saving grace and even then I have only really allowed myself an hour to go to church. My faith is strong, but is not as bright as it usually is. To be truthful, I've been so busy that I seem to have relegated God to a little corner.

Easter came and went. I remember going to services, but that's it. I missed Easter. That's too bad. I mean I wrote about, I think, but I can't really remember if I connected with anything. I have been going in twelve different directions. Its amazing how quickly life gets in the way and befoe I realized it my faith had been left behind.

I just finished my last project for the semester-- a collection development plan for a fictitious library. As I finished and saved it my cat jumped on my lap and invaded the space between me and my computer. I had no choice but to lean back in my chair. As I leaned back the words of the Psalms came to mind:

Psalm 46:10: "Be still and know that I am God..."


"Be still before the Lord and wait
patiently for him..." Psalm 37:7

I kind of needed to hear those words tonight. The word "still" fits nicely this evening. "The Lord leads me beside quiet (still) waters..." Psalm 23.

It feels good to be stopped and resting. Taking a bit of a Sabbat, as it were. Listening to quiet music on the radio...

The last few weeks have been tough for me here, too. I can't tell you how many times I tried to write something in this blank, white box and sat being thwarted by the cursor. Its not that I didn't have anything to say, I just didn't know how to string the words together.

So, there it is.

I'm tired. My faith needs a good shot in the arm. I need some good quiet, peaceful, contemplative time with me and the Word. I need to re-teach myself how to pray. I need to relax. I need to turn off my brain.

I need to be still for a while, but not silent.

No comments: