*breath deeply and sigh contentedly*

I went to church last night which was both a good and bad thing. One of the reasons I went to church last night was that this morning is confirmation Sunday and there will be 21 grade A-1 young Loofrins getting their "wings" as it were. I don't necessarily need to sit through that, that's probably very wrong on my part, but oh, well.

A good thing that came out of it was I was able to sleep in this morning. I didn't realize how tired I have been and that 10 hours of sleep I got last night felt absolutely wonderful.

I tried to watch some of the football draft to be cool like Dan the Miz-an over at Necessary Roughness but I discovered that I just don't care that much. Watching the NFL Draft is like watching slow drying paint dry... the second day is worse of all. The big headed sportscasters get too bigheaded and shwaffle... and my eyes roll around in my head. I sat through four picks and turned it off. I'll catch all the picks in the USAToday tomorrow. If you want my honest opinion, though, I think Reggie Bush will flame out in a couple years.

I am unabashedly reading books for fun at present. I have, I think, four books going right now. One of the books I'm reading right now is The Wort Team Money Could Buy. It's all about the 1992 Mets... I'd actually done a pretty good job of forgetting that team and sadness it brought me my senior year of highschool... oh, the horror, the horror... It has been fun reading for pleasure again and not feeling guilty about it and thinking I should be doing some school work right now.

But I don't have to do school work right now because the semester is over! Whoo-hoo... (sorry, I needed to do that).

On a sadder note, though, I must give my condolences to my friend 'Bek on the death of her mother after a long illness. Peace and blessings to you and your family,'Bek.

be still

The last four weeks have been too busy. My life has been filled with work and school. I have been a part of opening a new bookstore and have been putting in almost 40 hours a week there and then I have also been continuing my grad work and I've been fitting in that work where I can. Between those two things, sleeping, and eating I have had very little time for anything else. Sundays have been my only saving grace and even then I have only really allowed myself an hour to go to church. My faith is strong, but is not as bright as it usually is. To be truthful, I've been so busy that I seem to have relegated God to a little corner.

Easter came and went. I remember going to services, but that's it. I missed Easter. That's too bad. I mean I wrote about, I think, but I can't really remember if I connected with anything. I have been going in twelve different directions. Its amazing how quickly life gets in the way and befoe I realized it my faith had been left behind.

I just finished my last project for the semester-- a collection development plan for a fictitious library. As I finished and saved it my cat jumped on my lap and invaded the space between me and my computer. I had no choice but to lean back in my chair. As I leaned back the words of the Psalms came to mind:

Psalm 46:10: "Be still and know that I am God..."

and

"Be still before the Lord and wait
patiently for him..." Psalm 37:7

I kind of needed to hear those words tonight. The word "still" fits nicely this evening. "The Lord leads me beside quiet (still) waters..." Psalm 23.

It feels good to be stopped and resting. Taking a bit of a Sabbat, as it were. Listening to quiet music on the radio...

The last few weeks have been tough for me here, too. I can't tell you how many times I tried to write something in this blank, white box and sat being thwarted by the cursor. Its not that I didn't have anything to say, I just didn't know how to string the words together.

So, there it is.

I'm tired. My faith needs a good shot in the arm. I need some good quiet, peaceful, contemplative time with me and the Word. I need to re-teach myself how to pray. I need to relax. I need to turn off my brain.

I need to be still for a while, but not silent.

*Deep breath*

The process is almost over. I work for Barnes & Noble and am presently engaged in the process of opening a new store. The store officially opens on wednesday the 26th of April. It has been quite a process. Imagine, if you will, filling a completely empty store with books, cd, dvds, and other odds and ends that make up a Barnes & Noble. It has been a lot of work, but a heck of a lot of fun.

School is almost over, at least for awhile, I'll be taking two summer courses this summer.

The sun is shining. Baseball is being played. And the celebration of the Resurection continues!

I love Spring.

the Jesus Noggin

I call this my "Jesus Noggin" necklace. I wear it everyday. It once belong to my father, he got it as a gift from his brother for either Christmas or a birthday, I don't remember which. It is probably close to 50 years old. My dad wore this all the time when I was a kid. Any picture you see of him you can see the little Jesus head shine from his chest. But one night a cat we had chewed through the necklace that the little head was on. The necklace broke and the pendant fell into my dad's lap. He put it in a jewlery box and there it stayed for a long time.

When I went to seminary I asked my dad if I could have it. We went out and bought a new chain, got it all shined up and I started wearing it. I don't usually wear it outside of my shirt. It tends to get in the way with my nametag at work, but the slight weight it gives me on my chest is reassuring. Sometimes, though, I look at it and I think "Hmm, that's only part of the story, there's more to it than just a crown of thorns." (I feel the same way when I see a crucifix. But somewhere in the back of mind a little voice says that remembering that part of the story is just as important as remembering the end of the story (or is it the beginning?)

This little necklace means a lot to me. I almost lost it once. The pendant had fallen off, but luckily I felt it slide down my chest. It is actually quite heavy and I can't wear it at night when I sleep, the edges kind of sharp and cause a bit of pain if I roll over on it.

So, I wear it. Daily to remind me of my faith, but it also reminds me of the faith my parents have and I thank God that the faith my parents have was given to me.

Easter

The sounds of Easter hymns still echo in my mind: "Jesus Christ is Risen Today," "Crown Him with Many Crowns," and "Now All the Vault of Heaven Resounds." The altar was bedecked with Easter lilies. The organ sounded particularly beautiful today. The choir sang better than normal. The joyful feeling of promise fulfilled was in the air.

Easter! The day of the Resurection of our Lord! The greatest of all blessings.

So Judas wrote a book, a gospel they call it. In this gospel it is said that Judas didn't betray Jesus. You see, you can't betray someone who wants to be given up! No, instead Judas introduced Jesus to the Jewish/Roman mob. I can see it now:

Judas: Hey, guys, I want to introduce you someone.

Mob: Nice to me you...

Jesus: Likewise, I'm sure...