In Which Your Faithful Narrator Discusses Art and his Crush

Art, is just a man's name.
-- A. Warhol

Last Friday my father and I went to the Indianapolis Museum of Art, aka The IMA. There is an exhibit of Roman art on loan from the Louve, that dinky little are museum in old Paris, France. It was quite an interesting exhibit. If for no other reason than the statuary from such ancient times. Looking at a statue, or wall relief from 2000 years ago does something to a person. Well, at least me, it made me feel somewhat small and a lot inconsequential. I am just a spec on the great time continuum.

I had a strange feeling of vertigo for a bit. I imagined that some of the Biblical characters: Paul, for example, might very well have seen these very statues. The history these statues have seen.

I like the IMA. Its a beautiful facility, and its free (aside from special exhibits like the afore mentioned Roman Exhibit). Its situated just north of Indianapolis in one of the more ritzy parts of town. Right near Crown Hill Cemetery final resting place of many a famous Hoosier, a couple Vice Presidents, President, and a bunch of other ordinary folks. But I'm not talking about the cemetery, I'm talking about the art musuem.

I go to the IMA a couple times a year, I walk through and look at all the paintings and sculptures and ooh and ahh at the talent on display and then, well I have to go see my painting. Last year the IMA's "tag line," or slogan was "the IMA, its my art." Cute. But I took them to their word and I do, in fact, have a painting. Its Edward Hopper's "Hotel Lobby." I'm not sure why that painting resonates with me, though I'm sure the blond in the lower right hand corner reading has something to do with it.

Is it possible to have a crush on a painting? Or at least one of the images in the painting? I don't know, but I think I might. I often find myself just wondering what the story of the painting is. Who are is the older couple in the upper left of the painting, and what about the deskman on the upper right, he's barely visible, he is partially obscured by the desk lamp. What is the story? Hopper is known for his stark renderings of images. You might call it pessimistic art, but this painting does seem to reach out and grab me. Maybe its because I have experienced that scene, I'm sure we all have: being a motel alone with only a book for comfort. That might sound like a good time to many, but that can be disconcerting. There is a difference between being "alone" and "lonely." And the older couple, they are standing slightly apart from each other, their faces are not happy, they're almost dour. The colors of the painting are not warm, either. Even the light from the lamps is discouraging.

Then there is the blond woman, sitting there reading. Her dress just above the knee, I believe its a blue dress. She's what draws me to the painting. I want to know about her: what's she reading, what's her name, what does she do, why is she in the motel... can I buy her a drink? I tried to give her a name once, but it didn't work. No name really fit. The painting to me, I guess, is the embodiment of that moment in time that everyone shares with strangers. It usually happens when I'm in traffic, or in a line. There is a connection with someone. I get to know them through their actions, never a word passes between us. But the actions and the reactions speak the volumes. I guess I will continue to be a voyeur and watch the the scene hoping for a connection...

In Which Your Faithful Narrator Asks the Deep Questions

Its raining outside, or at least it was when I came in; it was that hard drizzle that soaks you faster than a hard driving rain. As a result, the day is rather grey. Or is it gray? I think that "grey," is the British spelling and "gray" is the American. "Gray" must be American because I don't get that little squiggly line that tells me I'm snook of a speller like I do when I type "grey."

That begs a question, I think. Does "grey" mean something different than "gray," I mean if you write "prey" that means food for the tiger, but if you type "pray" then you're talking the Higher Power. These are the kind conundrums I deal with on a regular basis. Words... oh well.

I had a much more erudite entry planned in my nogginal pan, but I think it sprung a leak, the nogginal pan, that is.

In Which Your Narrator Says "You Love Me, You Really Love Me," or How I'm Found, or Keywords

pedal pumping

paul goeke lutheran-- That's the Rev. Most High Paul Goeke to you. And yes, he is the Lutheran's Lutheran! You don't mess with Goeke.

putting salt in your gas tank
i was there to hear your borning cry music
worst thing to put in gas tank
emptying gas tank
18 wheeler fuel tanks
is it better to have a full tank of gas than an empty one
i was there to hear your borning cry
metal gas natural tank
what does sugar in your car's gas tank do?
how do fuel tank cells work -hydrogen automotive
gas tank metal construction photos
things you need to know about gas tanks

if sugar gets in a gas tank what to do
what problems will i have if sugar is put in my gas tank -- who puts sugar in someone's gastank? I mean, come on that's just rude.

pedal to the metal costume
hitting the fuel tank
boat gas pedal pumping
hard track pedal of meta
flip flops gas pedal
gas tank t shirts
kristen laine college bands
empty tank auto problems
how much does a full throttle
putting salt water in gas tank
gas pedal pumping fun
emptying fuel tanks
male pedal pumping
pedal pumping youtube
what to do if there is something in your fuel tank

karl loofrin -- this one just kind of freaked me out, why is someone looking for me specifically...?

gas tank fell off going down the road
full throttle lifts
what do you put in a gas tank to mess it up
putting rocks in gas tanks
gas tank is empty but car will not take gas
what happens when there's water in gas tank?
fuel tank job
how do car fuel tanks work
four throtle

In Which Your Faithful Narrator Discusses an Installation in Today's Service

There was an installation in my church today. Rev. Raji Udhayanesan, was installed as an associate pastor today. He will be minsitering to the Indian population that has sprung up here in Indiana in the last few years. The installation was done during the regularly scheduled Sunday service, some Rev. Raji's congregation sang two songs in the Tamil language, which by the way has over 200 vowels. Yeah, I have troule with the five (or six if you count "Y") let alone 200. It is always exciting to see new ministries start. It is my sincere hope and prayer that Rev. Raji is succesful in this new ministry.

There were about six or seven pastors there to lay hands on Rev. Raji's head, my father was one of them. It was so good to see my dad in his "uniform." He admitted that it felt good to "do something pastorly, again," doctors have counseled him that it is unwise to preach. When he asked why, they told him that there is a certain amount of stress that comes with preaching that would not be good for his general heart health, as a result he hasn't done much church stuff in the last few years.

Like I said there were five or six pastors there, as they gathered around to bless Rev. Raji one of them walked away. He literaly walked out of the church. The whole congregation watched him leave. They didn't hear or pay attention to the blessings. As a group we all had one question on our minds: "where's he going." I thought he might of been sick, or something, but it turned out he was offended by something. I'm not sure what, but he decided that he couldn't do handle what was goig on and left. My father said something about him saying that he was bothered about something that didn't mesh with the LCMS. I really don't know what it was, though. My dad, in his tyical, sarcastic way said: "there's a special place in Heaven for him." In other words, he's next in line for the right side of God. My dad has no time for that kind of thing.

The whole affair just seemed awfully petulent and immature. His actions took away from the whole service. In my opinion if he had a problem with something he should of maybe stepped back, but not left and then gone to the pastor of the church to discuss his concerns. Come on, man, be a professional and remember congregations see what you do. Okay, I'm done with that episode.

In Which Your Narrator Gets Caught in the Great Exepience Conundrum

There is a saying, I think, that goes something like this: "I wasn't hired because I didn't have enough experience. How does one get experience if they won't hire me?" That's my conundrum today. I did not get the library job I applied for the other day, it went to someone who had more public library experience than me. That's a problem for people like me in Central Indiana. This place is lousy with librarians. When realize that there are at least two, maybe three schools that are putting librarians: the two that come to mind right now are IU-Bloomington and IUPUI, my alma mater. Of course they have MLS programs in the other satalite campuses of the IU system. So, the place is lousy with librarians.

I've had a hard time figuring out which direction I want to go with my librarianship. For a long time I thought I wanted to be an academic librarian, but that's an awful lot of work. I still do, to a degree, but I think my talents, such that they are, would be better used in the public library realm.

I know I should probably look outside of Indiana for a job, but I'm not comfortable leaving my parents. I'm not afraid of living on my own, I can do that. I just don't want to be far away in case something happens and I need to get back quickly.

I can tell you one thing: obviously that job I applied for was not "from God" as I wrote in a past entry. If it was I would of gotten it, right? That might of blasphemy...

Well, back to the employment pages...

In Which Your Narrator Discusses the Lone Dollar in His Wallet

I have broken the law. Well, I think I have, but I'm not a hundred percent sure. Let's say I did because its more romantic that way. I just wrote the following on the lone dollar bill in my wallet: You Are Not Broke. I have had that dollar in my wallet for the week or so. I haven't spent it, I've been tempted, but I haven't. I did some great damage to my bank account recently. So, if you look at my bankbook you will see that I am practicing deficit spending, but not doing a very good job of it. But I have this lone dollar in my wallet and for some reason having the legend You Are Not Broke written across the top makes me feel better. That dollar has become my talisman. Its tough to look into my wallet and see nothing where the money should be except for my written upon dollar. Its my fault that I am in financial straights. I have too much outflow and not enough inflow when it comes to money. I have put the brakes on the outflow. I have been watching my bills carefully and made calls. I have gotten interest rates lowered and discovered charges that were not authorized and had them stopped. I have bought anything for fun in weeks. My only "fun" expenditure lately has been my monthly fee for netflix.

In May I had a little sitdown talk with myself and said "self, your spending too much money on things." I replied "self, you're right. we must stop!" I have stopped buying food in the cafe at work. At a dollar or two it doesn't seem like much, but add that up and it quickly becomes very much indeed. I have coffee can that I keep change in. I used to use it as a snack fund when at work or school, but now its used as a rudimentary savings plan.

I keep eyeing my credit cards while holding a scissor. I'm going to get to that soon enough, but there is a certain amount of fear over that and I know that's part of what the credit card companies want. They want me to beceome addicted to their cards. I have them in an envelope on a shelf somewhere. If I need them I can get to them, but I doubt I'll need them. Yes, you read that right "them." The fact that I have to discuss credit cards in plural makes me sick. I just realized that I have three Mastercards, a Discover Card, and my checkcard is a Visa. Oh, I have a JCPenny Card, too. Who needs that many credit cards?

I work in retail, so I see a lot of open wallets. I can tell you this: I got nothing in cards compared to some of the people I see. I wince when a card is declined and they dig through their wallets to get another one... and that one is declined... and they write me a check. I feel like saying "don't. you don't need it," but I can't. But its not about them, its about me.

I got myself into this mess and I'll be damned if I let it get any worse. The only debt I feel okay about is my car payement and student loan. Everything else... makes me feel like a schnook.

It does pay to call the credit card companies and ask to get your interest rate lowered. I did that today and it worked. The interest rates were lowered, considerably. The best rate I have now is ten percent, the worst is about 16. Thank God for internet paying. That has helped, but not a hundred percent.

What this boils down to is this: I have not been a good steward of the blessings God has given me.

So, I will keep that dollar in my wallet. The one that says You Are Not Broke. It shall be my talismans. I'll keep it there to remember. To remind myself.

In Which Your Faithful Narrator Discusses a Job Interview

I had an interview yesterday. It went very well. At least I felt very confident that I did well. I don't like interviewing for jobs. I dislike being interviewed. I dislike the whole job searching process. I always feel so selfconscious when I'm getting asked questions like "so tell us about one of great successes," or "tell us about one of your problem customers you might have had..." I'd rather get the questions like "do you want to work here?" "yes" "Okay, you're hired." That'd be nice, wouldn't it?

The position I applied for is a position that I think was sent by God. I'm only half kidding about that. It is a full-time reference position at the library near my home (two miles away, to be exact, I clocked it on my way home from the interview). I could walk there, if I wasn't afraid of getting run-over by an SUV driven by a someone balancing a Starbuck's coffee and talking on the cellphone while driving with their knee. I'm not so worried about the side streets, its Rte 31 I'm afriad of, but I'm trying not think that I "got the job." I'd hate to get myself all worked up and then not get it. I feel confident I did well, but that's as far as I'm going with it.

It was kind of by accident that I discovered the position available. I was poking around the website of my local library, something I hadn't done in a while. I clicked on the link dealing with "career opportunites" and there was the notice for a full time adult services reference librarian. I read the notice and just sent my resume. I got an email setting up an interview. My head was spinning a bit yesterday, as I tried with all my nogginal fortitude to keep the expectation and hope to an even keeled level. Yeah, I was and am excited about the possibility.

The hours are great, the money's good, too. Its better money than I'm making at my present place of employ. Almost three dollars more an hour. Since I am an hourly employee at my current employ I look at pay rates hourly. It helps me gauge what I might be getting myself into. If nothing else the savings in gas will be amazing and the my friends is key and I wouldn't be putting 250 miles a week on my car going to and from my current employ.

I have been doing alot of praying about the job yesterday and today. Okay, maybe not prayer, mabye begging would be better... *chuckles* but I really do feel confident and excited about the opportunity that has presented itself. So, here's to fingers crossed and hands folded.

I'll keep you informed.