Saturday, November 17, 2007

In Which Your Faithful Narrator Gets a Shot of Needed Self-Confidence

Last night I discovered a website that listed library jobs. I started perusing some of them and I discovered, happily, that I might actually be qualified for a good many of them. There is a nice feature that lists jobs by states and then those states have links to universities and public libraries, so I spent about an hour or more happily bouncing around the country looking at library jobs.

I found a few that were enticing, but I didn't send my resume or anything because I didn't have my thumbdrive that has my resume on it. As a matter of fact, I've been thinking I need to redo my resume. Make it look more professional, the problem with that is I dislike working on my resume. I don't like "bragging" about myself.

When I didn't get the job I interviewed for a few weeks back I was actually more crushed than I led myself to believe. That, I won't call it a failure, really took the wind out of my sails, but yesterday I learned that classmate of mine got a job in a library in Savannah, GA. I figured, if she can do it, why can't I? I think I've mentioned my dilemma when it comes to my self-confidence. I can be my own worst enemy when it comes to that kind of thing.

In other news, but kind of in the same vein, I finally got my degree in the mail today. I'm, dare I say it... stoked. I feel like taking that degree and showing some of my teachers that told me I wouldn't get out of high school that I did, in fact not only get out of high school, I went to college and got an A.A. degree, a Bachelors, and now, my friends, a Masters.

Am I allowed to feel proud of myself for a little while? I don't think I can express here, in words, the feeling of accomplishment I have; it feels good to be able to say to my teachers from the past "I showed you!" And the 16-year old dishwasher who made a promise to himself that he would in fact get a masters degree someday can feel especially proud of himself for achieving that which many didn't think he could do.

So, to Mr. Campenero, my fourth grade teacher: I DID IT! To Miss Miller, my high school English teacher who told me I shouldn't try and take the English 101 class my senior year: I DID IT! To Mrs. Walsh, my Spanish teacher: I DID IT!

Now, I just have to take this good feeling and turn it into something positive. That's going to be the trick. I have to be careful because that voice of self-doubt will rear its ugly head.

Oh, did I mention that about two weeks ago I requested information from Concordia Ft. Wayne? Never hurts to look into things, right?

3 comments:

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

If you need help with your resume, let me know. I'd be happy to help.

disgruntled world citizen said...

I just may take you up on that offer.

Beth said...

You should get up and DANCE in a wild frenzy. You SHOULD be proud of yourself. Now, look at that resume and think objectively. What can you add that proves your worth? What makes you unique? If you get stumped, stop. Dance. Self-congratulate. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Good luck. And happy Thanksgiving.