Father's Heart

My father is in the hospital. I took him to the emergency room on Friday morning at 0230. He was complaining of chest pains and indegistion, typical symptoms of a hearattack. He has had two heart attacks already in 1980 and 1989. We talked to a heart surgeon about the possibility of surgery, the verdict? He is not a candidate for open heart surgery. The surgeon said that he wasn't sure my father's heart would start up again after surgery. My father's heart is badly damaged from his early heart attacks. He has scar tissue, but he also has bad heart heredity. His father, grandfathers (paternal and maternal) as well as great grandfather all died from heart attacks or heart related illnesses.

The doctor told us that his heart is doing as well as it can, he is not in eminent danger of death, but his heart isn't going to be as strong in the next few years as it is now (in this case that word is a relative term).

So we will continue to monitor his health. I know he won't live forever, but I hope he'll have a great life for as long as he is allowed. My father is a very strong man. He has an incredible faith in Christ and he knows that he will have home when it is time to leave this one, its just that his room hasn't quite been finished yet.

I ask for you prayers for good health for my father. His name is Ernie.

poem es fini

i thought that

maybe

i’d write a poem tonight
while listening to music

my window is open &
the temperature is slowly

falling

but as (per usual) the poem
i saw in my head has flown the
coop and gone south

i tried to chase it down
& make it submit to my

will

but a poem is like
a feral cat i

have to get used to that
& except it:

the poem
is lost to me

Maybe They Won't do too Much Damage If We Send Them There

I've grown weary of it all

I heard something on the radio yesterday that bummed the hell out of me. I was listening to Tavis Smiley on NPR. He was interviewing two lawyers and, of course, they were talking about the presidential race (and as Tavis always does it became about the race of and for the presidential campaign), but he asked a question that basically went like this: "Will the election decide it? Will it be over on November 2nd?" Sadly, both lawyers said no. They both felt it was going to be thrown to the Supreme Court to decide that matter. I let out a groan. I have turned the corner on the whole presidential race thing. I am still voting for who I am voting for, but I have just gotten so damn tired of it all. And the thought that the election might be drug out for many more weeks after election day is something I am not really excited about. It is my sincere hope that whoever wins wins in a decisive manner. I do not think the country needs another 50-50 vote.

I watched the Vee-Pee debate the other night. I thought it was a good one. I heard a great quote that was written in the Washington Post: "It was like watching two pitbulls fight." How true. I thought it was more like watching two very angy prize fighters duke it out. Both got some good shots in, I didn't hear anything new and I kept hearing Edwards say that they have a plan for this and that and the other, but he didnt say anything about what those plans might be. I had to give Cheney props for nipping the your-daugher-is-gay-so-you-must-support-gay-marriage personal attack that Edwards mounted in the bud pretty quickly. Edwards seemed a bit upset that Cheney did not run with it or attack back. I think Cheney scored a good point there. I would call the debate a hard-fought draw.

Sadly, I have to work tomorrow so I won't be able to see the second Presidential debate. I may tape it so I can review it later. I think Dub-ya is going to come out swinging this time. He got took the first time, it is my sincere hope that he does not let that happen again.

I had to bite my tongue last night at work. There is this group that meets in the cafe at work. They started out as a "meet-up" group for Howard Dean, but when he self-destructed back in the primaries they kind of lay low for a few weeks until they could figure out who was going to be the "go to guy" for the Democrats. After Kerry became the front runner they started showing up again with their little buttons and placards touting Kerry/Edwards. Well last night they met again and there were two women who were preparing to pay for some things and they were busy having a political conversation about how wonderful John Kerry was and how angry they were and my blood really started to boil. I wanted so much to engage them, but i was afraid of a couple things: 1. I'm on the clock, company time and all. 2. It wouldn't be a discussion so much as a heated argument. 3. I didn't want to offend them telling them I thought they were pretty much wrong across the board (this goes back to number one, as well). So I literally chewed on the inside of my cheek. As they left I said quietly under my breath "See you November 2nd."

I realized the other day that I am so disgusted and my mind is so prejudiced again Johnkerry that I've become almost irrational. I do not hate the man, that's a loaded and evil word, but I just do not like him, at all. I get the same reaction to Johnkerry as I do soggy bread and mushrooms... I gag.

Relaxed

The other day, while when I was driving to work, I passed an R.V. that was built on a bus chasis. It was beige and had some chrome on it. It was a beautiful creation: long, shiny, and looked like it was a very comfortable thing. It was pulling an H2 Hummer. I did a double take, and then I did some quick guestimation math and decided that I was looking at approximately (at the very least) 300,000 dollars on wheels. I thought to myself Wow, that guy has too much money. Maye he did. Then I chuckled to myself and said if the RV runs out of gas, he can just move the hummer to the front and tow the RV.

A coworker and I went out and had drinks after work yesterday. We drank four beers apiece over approximately two hours and we stuffed ourselves with chips and queso (which was very good, by the way). I hadn't done that in a while, just gone out and had a relaxing drink with a friend. I could of stayed and imbibed more, but the fact that I had to drive weighed on my mind. The other thing was this: even at 2.24 a pint it adds up pretty quick. I don't know if its a result of the drinking, butI just feel relaxed right now. Just comfortable. Chilled. So, right now, I am drinking a cup of coffee (the second of the morning) and listening to Diane Reims on the radio.

Senator Flip-flop

Politics, again

I just finished watching the "debate," if you can call it that. Who won? I'm not sure, but I'd say that George Bush drew first blood. It was about 20 minutes into the thing when I heard John Kerry mutter angrily "I'll scrap the rules if you want." John Kerry got angry, quick and I really don't think he ever quite recovered.

Neither Bush, nor Kerry said anything new. Kerry said he had a "better plan" for everything, yet he was very, very vague on specifics. He did say that he would bring in help and allies for the Irag-thing. I'm not sure who, though. The French or the Germans? Does he think that just because he's elected he'll be able to ge them to get off their collective European asses and help? Yeah, right. I'd rather the French stick to wine and the Germans to beer. I'm quite happy to have the Brits. Of course George kept coming back to the "we must stay the course," and "we are safer now then four years ago." Maybe we are and maybe we should, I don't know.

I listened to part of the debate on the radio on my way home from work. John Kerry sounded like someone on stage waiting to recite, by rote, something he worked very hard to memorize. Bush on the other hand sounded like he was prepared, but a bit nervous. He stammered a bit, but that's the way he talks. Once he got going he was tough.

I got home and watched the rest of it on television. Was it me or did you get the impression that Bush and Kerry really don't like each other. I'm serious.

I'm still voting for Bush on November 2. Matter of fact I've been thinking about registering in Chicago so I can vote early and vote often... lol. I'm kidding. The only problem I'm having this election year is who to vote for govenor. I'm leaning towards Mitch Daniels, the challenger to Joe Kernan. I'm not real happy with Kernan, but I realize he inherited many of the problems when he was sworn in after Gov. O'Banion died. (O'Banion was a schnook). But I'm thinking it might be time to clean statehouse and give Daniels a try. (Oh, Daniels is Republican and Kernan is a Deomocrat). The problem with Indian Democrats and Indiana Republicans is very thin hairs. Drives me nuts.

I must appologize to the whole two people that read this blog with any regularity about being so political here. I'm not generally a political guy. I don't talk politics. But I've found myself needing to vent and its safer here in cyberworld then in the realworld.